Addictive Games (EP)

by Kerry JK

/
1.
Bandsaw Suzie married young, against her parents' wishes But was devoted to her husband all her life He was the singer in a band that played around the tri-state area While Suzie stayed at home as loyal wife Bandsaw Suzie's husband's name was Bobby He was coveted by girls in every town They desired his rugged features and his college jock physique And Bobby didn't think it right to let them down. Bandsaw Suzie gave her all to Bobby Making house while he was out on tour She dressed up extra pretty when she knew he was returning And was waiting with a kiss by the front door Although she knew about her husband's indiscretions She dealt with them most philosophically: "Those groupies don't mean nothing. Bobby puts on quite the show But when it's all said and done, he comes back home to me". Then one day when she was cleaning Suzie happened upon something That would make her world come crashing down in tears Beneath a broken floorboard In a tattered cardboard box Was a stack of letters going back several years. They were love letters to Bobby from somebody Whose handwriting Suzie was sure she'd seen And their were pictures of her husband and this lady co-entwined With his handwritten notes declaring her his Queen. Bandsaw Suzie called in on a girlfriend She'd known from high school many years before When she returned back home later on that afternoon She dragged a cooler box through the back door. When Bobby came back from a trip to Loveland She was waiting for him strangely cheerfully She kissed him with a smile, took his hand and led him through the house She had something she wanted him to see. In the office was a cabinet where Bobby Kept memorabilia from his college football days She took him to the darkened room, sat him down, flicked on the lights And gave him just a moment to fix his gaze. From the box she had prepared an exhibition On the mirrored shelves of Bobby's trophy case Each photograph and letter was trickled crimson from the highest shelf Where a severed head and body parts took pride of place. Bobby gazed upon the scene in horror His Mistress dead! His wife, a murderess! That's when it dawned that she was standing right beside him With a serrated kitchen knife across her chest. Bobby cried out for forgiveness He confessed all that he'd done He could make things right, if only she would hear! "It's OK, honey", she replied "You know I'd never leave you". And then she slit him groin to throat and ear to ear. Bandsaw Suzie married young, against her parents' wishes To a man she last saw carved up in a chair Her Mother always warned her not to marry a musician But she was grateful for the married life they'd shared. Bandsaw Suzie's due to die tomorrow In Kentucky State Penitentiary She says she's looking forward to being reunited with her Bobby She refused to plead insanity.
2.
I made no cry for help I craved intensity I cut myself to pieces Out of curiosity I went right through despair And turned it into a game I stood at the precipice Scared that I was not afraid The darkness called to me From somewhere deep inside A willing sacrifice Or simply suicide? I stood against the stake And waited for the flames I gave myself completely To the game of games I dug myself a pit And wished somebody would fill me in I dreamed of resurrection Just to die over and over again I was Ophelia, bathing in the stream I was Sydney Carton, smiling at the guillotine.
3.
How can I trust my good intentions? Selfish motivations taint the desire to do what's right Each achievement comes with an asterix All the good things that I receive Are at somebody else's cost Standing on the shoulders of Ancestry Carrying the burden in my brain Entering from stage left, the villain Taking the blame again. I've always been willing to compromise But if you compromise too much You can never compromise enough So I had to learn to stand my ground Even if the ground that I stood Was on somebody else's hill Living from the evils of Ancestry Carrying the burden in my brain Entering from stage left, the villain Taking the blame again. And so I turned to a higher power To find comfort in humility Submit myself and all my faults Then it turned out that the higher power Was human just like me Standing on the shoulders of Ancestry Carrying the burden in my brain Entering from stage left, the villain Taking the blame again. Living from the evils of Ancestry Carrying the burden in my brain Entering from stage left, the villain Taking the blame again.
4.
My World 04:15
My world is constructed as patterns form in rubble And as an impetus for improvisation My world is vast Conceivable in general terms But of infinite and fascinating complexity and variation. My world in conflict, but not always due to differences Opposing sides can quite often look the same My world is frightening Fear can be befriended But self-destruction is an addictive game Welcome to my world It's a good world It's our world Open your mind to this world It's a good world It's your world My world is confusing Some people find comfort in denial But then miss the wonder of the elephant in the room My world is a collage of peace and violence Progress and regression Tragedy and laughter My world is of today Yesterday exists, but not as I remember it And tomorrow will be different the day after.
5.
I could never love another the way that I loved you Even after all the sadness you put me through If I hadn't have been so deep in love I'd never have known just what I was capable of Now look at what you made me do. I broke the law today for the first time I broke the law today for the very first time I saw your head in between her thighs Then I saw a breadknife between her eyes I broke the law today for the first time I broke the law today for the first time I broke the law today for the very first time Such a cute body, such a pretty face I left them on a shelf in your trophy case I broke the law today for the first time And now the K.S.P. are gonna come for me Oh, honey, can't you see, they'll never leave me be Every day I'm gonna cry and pray Oh, why did it have to be this way? I broke the law today for the first time I broke the law today for the very first time I'm not a bad person, you know I'm not But when it comes to love, you're all I've got I broke the law today for the first time Now the national press will come to our address While the D.O.C. are taking care of me Tooth and nail they're gonna drag me to jail And they'll leave me all alone with my misery I broke the law today for the first time I broke the law today for the very first time I'll always love you, Darling, you know it's true Even though you ripped my heart in two I broke the law today for the first, and second, time.

about

Part one of a planned trilogy of EPs, to be released throughout 2019.

credits

released March 29, 2019

Written, performed and produced by Kerry JK.

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Kerry JK Northampton, UK

Gender and genre fluid singer-songwriter producing songs of identity, isolation and defiance incorporating jazz, electronica, art rock, vocal looping, poetry and rock opera theatrics.

Be yourself, as yourself. There is no greater fulfilment, and no sweeter revenge.
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