Music Kept Me Sane: The Best of Quicksand Kerry 1998​-​2008

by Kerry JK

/
1.
Music kept me sane Music kept me sane If it wasn't for the beat of a kick drum I just might have killed someone Music kept me sane Music kept me sane Music kept me sane For the sound of electric guitar You people don't know how lucky you are To have music It kept me sane 'Cause when the music stops, the voices start When the music stops, the voices start When the music stops, the voices start The music, the music, the music kept me sane. Music kept me sane Music kept me sane Oh, bass and a drumkit Does more for me than a valium hit Music kept me sane 'Cause when the music stops, the voices start When the music stops, the voices start When the music stops, the voices start The music, the music, the music kept me sane.
2.
The long and boring road that leads to bed Motorway enui Grim monotony Drudgery Felony I really ought to be home sleeping. It's better to travel hopefully than to arrive, so someone said Well, I say bollocks I'd rather just get there What's so sodding great about wasting so much precious time Behind a wheel Out on the road My radio is broken and I've been through all my tapes I'm bonded to this tarmac with no chance of escape Until I reach the exit that is where my town awaits I can finally get back home It's 4 o'clock Sunday morning, my eyelids feel like lead I'm trying to keep myself awake I dice with mortal peril at one hundred miles an hour Half asleep I'm rolling onwards I've half an eye out for police and a quarter on the road Driving over potholes, it's a mother load Far too many miles 'till I can get myself unloaded All alone and bloody tired. Motorway enui, it ain't no way to be I just want to see my bed You can take your key to the highway and you can shove it up your arse I just want to bang my head The sun is shining in the sky as I make it to my door I've been awake so long I can't remember what I stayed up for Trying to stop myself from falling flat down on the floor And my housemates are not my friends My housemates are not my friends My housemates are not my friends My housemates are not my friends
3.
Against my skin it feels so good Like I always dreamed it would Leave behind a life so dull I feel beautiful Make me into something sweet Let me feel the air beneath my feet I'm flying now, I'm on the wing I love everything Desire Desire Desire could never be more satisfied Emotions swell like never before I've tasted freedom and I want more My life will never be the same Life's a party, life's a game Desire Desire Desire could never be more satisfied
4.
If only they'd taught us We'd have been happy We'd have it easy We'd have our perfect world If only they'd reached us We could be normal We could be successful In our normal world If only we'd listened when they'd told us If only we'd learned when they'd beaten us If only we'd come to respect them and know our place If only they'd taught us We'd have had it made A career, a family A content existence If only they'd reached us It would be so easy No need to cause trouble No need to make waves If only we'd worshiped the proper religion If only we'd cursed all the right enemies If only we'd trusted our betters and kept our reverence If only we'd let them teach us If only we'd let them teach us If only we'd let them teach us If only we'd let them teach us
5.
My gears have locked, my life won't start My masterplan has fallen apart The city bus don't come by no more I'm sat at home feeling mighty sore And it's all your fault! You left me! And you jinxed me! I bet on a horse, it was an also-ran My stash got busted by the man I ain't got a job I ain't got a hope I ain't got squat My life's a joke And it's all your fault! You left me! And you jinxed me! My clothes all stink and my hair's a mess I can't even go out, I'm so bloody depressed I'm out of J.D. I'm out of style I ain't been happy in too long a while And it's all your fault! You left me! And you jinxed me!
6.
Despair has been my only friend He never leaves me, he never ends He shuts me off from a world that lies He kills my love for a dream that dies Despair protects me He keeps me alive He brings me tears that purify Nobody can get me in his warm embrace He lets me hide in another place Despair has been my only companion He lifts me up from so much carrion He takes my blood and provides me aid He gives morphine and a razorblade Nobody can get me in his warm embrace He lets me hide in another place Despair
7.
(instrumental)
8.
Thinking of how I wish my life was All grass is greener All hills are nicer Dark clouds swelling out from my mind fill the horizon Or is it just me? They say I should make more of my life I should be out there I should be somewhere But no-one knows where I need you to tell me frankly What do you see? Or is it just me? What do they think of me That they can't say to my face? Sat here thinking too much as usual It seems so normal So why such pain? Thinking my way out of the fool's paradise Instead constructing my enlightened nightmare I need you to tell me frankly What do you see? Or is it just me?
9.
Welcome to the landscape of my hereditary soul Welcome to the landscape of my only human mind Welcome to my embryonic mind of man Welcome to the mirror that's reflecting you I am just one child, all I know is what I want I am just one child, all I know is what I see I am just one child and this world is my playground I'm your inner child Deny me light The dark is much more fun Toy dolls falling to suit my whim Innocent dreams of power within My only care is to have fun I just look after number one Playful acts of destructive zeal Things may break but nothing's real In my mind it's all the same In my mind it's all a game Evil inner child Evil inner child Evil inner child Yet innocent Yet innocent Try to tell me what use to me Is such a thing as morality Pain of others humours me While I've no responsibility Would you not rather be strong than weak? Wouldn't you rather shout than speak? My inner dream is to control My inner dream My inner goal Evil inner child Evil inner child Evil inner child Yet innocent Yet innocent
10.
She's so young, she's so sweet, she's so inviting She'd the cream, the wet dream of all her schoolmates They're curious and so is she She wants to know about what she's read in all the magazines She's petite, so fit, so innocent Jailbait party girl, but it's wearing thin Her body is changing, her mind is expanding Her history's building Her life is closing in They're so young, they're so strong, they're so inviting What they want's what you flaunt See where the power is? They get so upset when you won't play ball What, are you worried you might lose it all? They're so drunk, they're so thick, they're yours to play with Don't waste your time with trying to change them Her body is changing, her mind is expanding Her history's building Her life is closing in They're curious and so is she She wants to know about what she's read in all the magazines They're curious and so is she She wants to know about what she's read in all the magazines They're curious and so is she She wants to know about what she's read in all the magazines They're curious and so is she She wants to know about what she's read in all the magazines She's so young, she's so hot, so much potential But such haste What a waste She should have more control Her body is changing, her mind is expanding Her history's building Her life is closing in
11.
It's been said so many times it has to be true You can never have your cake and eat it up too Well that may be so but I've still got to try I want to have my cake, eat it, taste it, share it, love it I don't want to choose I don't want to choose I don't want to choose You've got to hold fast, pin your colours to the mast Don't change your game, stay the same as when they saw you last Am I a boy or a girl? How do I fit in this world? Am I rich or poor, black or white, do I give up? I don't want to choose I don't want to choose I don't want to choose Do you think that I'm sick 'cause I don't deny the feelings I have inside? Do you think I'm a freak 'cause I don't want to find a safe place to run and hide? Do you think I'm a coward 'cause I don't want to fight for your ignorance? When did freedom become such a dirty word? The world isn't black, the world isn't white They try to tell me that it is but I know it isn't right It's a world of many colours, so much wonderful stuff One life per person really isn't enough I don't want to choose I don't want to choose I don't want to choose Do you think that I'm sick 'cause I don't deny the feelings I have inside? Do you think I'm a freak 'cause I don't want to find a safe place to run and hide? Do you think I'm a coward 'cause I don't want to fight for your ignorance? When did freedom become such a dirty word?
12.
I am Beelzebub, and I know your name! I am Beelzebub, and I cause your pain! I was with you in the schoolyard, when the kids all called you names And they took your dinner money and picked you last in games I was with you at your childbirth, your Mother hated you! And I'll be right behind you, no matter what you do I am Beelzebub, and I know your name! I am Beelzebub, and I cause your pain! I am Beelzebub and you won't escape me I am Beelzebub, I hope you hate me. I was with you at the disco when you couldn't get a date I was with you at the buffet when you couldn't find a plate You know you'll never get a break as long as I've a say You're my special project, you'll never get away I am Beelzebub, and I know your name! I am Beelzebub, and I cause your pain! I am Beelzebub and you won't escape me I am Beelzebub, I hope you hate me. And when the world is ending and there's fire in the sky And you're looking at your past life And you ask yourself, why? Why was my life worthless? Why was my life shit? You want to know the answer? Well, buster, I am it! I am Beelzebub, and I know your name! I am Beelzebub, and I cause your pain! I am Beelzebub and you won't escape me I am Beelzebub, I hope you hate me There's nothing you can do There's no way you can compensate No light is shining through While I control your fate No blue skies up ahead Just torment and dread Don't think there's hope for you 'Cause I've got my eye on you
13.
(A statement of attitude - I'm going to tell you a story!) I was walking down the road feeling happy and carefree When an angry young man came up to me And he said. "What give you the right to wear that expression? Surely you must know it's a terrible world With all its pain and heartache, misery and disease And then I see you Grinning, smiling As if you've some right to enjoy yourself Denied the rest of us What do you have to say for yourself?" I looked him squarely in the eye I smiled disarmingly And I told him my attitude As summed up within the words to this song: I'm smiling 'cause I don't care I'm smiling 'cause I don't care You can take your problems elsewhere I'm smiling 'cause I don't care what you think. For one moment this confused that angry young man Then he said, "But doesn't it affect you when you turn on the news And it's a parade of war and suffering and human misery And we're all powerless to do anything about it We have to leave it all to a bunch of politicians Who I wouldn't trust to mend a fence, let alone a country And we're supposed to be living in a democracy But all that means is you have to vote in one set of sharks So the other set of sharks won't get in And everything's shit and everything's broken And you don't seem to care about any of it What on earth do you have to say for yourself?" And I said, "Look! I don't know what part of this is giving you trouble But allow me to tell you my attitude As summed up within the words to this song: I'm smiling 'cause I don't care I'm smiling 'cause I don't care You can take your problems elsewhere I'm smiling 'cause I don't care what you think. But this angry young man just couldn't take a hint. One more time he tried it on. He said, "But don't you see..." And with that I flipped. There was a tussle between us A flash of steel A splash of crimson And he crumpled to my feet. And suddenly I felt a huge weight being lifted As if all the problems of the world That he'd tried to place on my shoulders over the last few minutes Had melted away like snow And in their place I was left feeling happy I was left feeling free. I went to carry on up the street But something was obscuring my path. I looked down to see what it was And it was a human hand Clutching The final stages of rigor mortis having already begun I've no idea whose leaving these things lying around So I kicked it to one side and continued on my way Singing softly to myself My attitude As summed up within the words to this song: I'm smiling 'cause I don't care I'm smiling 'cause I don't care You can take your problems elsewhere I'm smiling 'cause I don't care what you think.

about

Quicksand Kerry is the name and persona I settled into during the ten year period between 1998 and 2008, a time highlighted by expressions of gender fluidity, forays into DIY performance art and gothic industrialism. This album is a compilation of music recorded in various guises during that time, remastered in 2019.

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released June 1, 2019

All tracks written, composed and produced by Michael Peter Jackson, AKA Kerry Jackson-Kay.

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Kerry JK Northampton, UK

Gender and genre fluid singer-songwriter producing songs of identity, isolation and defiance incorporating jazz, electronica, art rock, vocal looping, poetry and rock opera theatrics.

Be yourself, as yourself. There is no greater fulfilment, and no sweeter revenge.
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