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about

Darkwave project Miles From Anywhere was one of my first full scale multitrack recording vehicles, the album Ending was distributed by Peoplesound in 1999. I was in a bad place mentally at this time - I'd been unable to play for a while due to a bout of tendonitis, severely affecting my livelihood. I was also developing severe anxiety around my identity, the struggles of life as a jobbing musician and the feeling of my music not belonging to myself anymore.
The second side of the album featured some particularly dark moments which I'm not sure I want to revisit. Thinking is fairly measured in comparison to those cuts, an exploration of depression-induced paranoia and distrust of those that would help.

lyrics

Thinking of how I wish my life was
All grass is greener
All hills are nicer
Dark clouds swelling out from my mind fill the horizon
Or is it just me?

They say I should make more of my life
I should be out there
I should be somewhere
But no-one knows where
I need you to tell me frankly
What do you see?
Or is it just me?

What do they think of me
That they can't say to my face?
Sat here thinking too much as usual
It seems so normal
So why such pain?

Thinking my way out of the fool's paradise
Instead constructing my enlightened nightmare
I need you to tell me frankly
What do you see?
Or is it just me?

credits

from Music Kept Me Sane: The Best of Quicksand Kerry 1998​-​2008, released June 1, 2019
Written, performed and produced by M P Jackson
1999

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tags

about

Kerry JK Northampton, UK

Gender and genre fluid singer-songwriter producing songs of identity, isolation and defiance incorporating jazz, electronica, art rock, vocal looping, poetry and rock opera theatrics.

Be yourself, as yourself. There is no greater fulfilment, and no sweeter revenge.
... more

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